Mum and Dad [Letter One]

[James Potter]

Dear Mum and Dad:

Well, it's been quite a busy first week here at Hogwarts. It didn't take long for a lot of drama to transpire, which is surprising since you know I make it a point to stay out of trouble at all costs. It's a good thing you raised such a fine boy, because all of this Head Boy power and my charming good looks (thanks mum) would have gotten to my head by now! I could go on, but I'll refrain.

The trip to school on the Hogwarts Express was impressive enough. First, I thought Lily's head might explode when she first saw me on the train. I assume it's because she's so impressed with how mature I've become since the end of last year, but she says I haven't changed one bit. Dad, you would be proud of me, a couple of Slytherin gits tried to start something, so I poked one of 'em in the chest and he threw a fit. You know those hot-headed Purebloods and all... calling Sirius a blood traitor and all of that mess. God forbid someone have a differing opinion outside of their tiny little minds, right?

As for Lily, well, she caught me patrolling the Forbidden Forest and assumed I was working my way into it. No, really, here's the kicker... she thought I was doing it alone. I mean, I really was going to, but it was a stretch to figure that one out really. She got a little angry with me and gave me my first piercing in the throat - it really looks just lovely! And it's so unique, no one else will have it. Now, I know how you all feel about me defiling my body, but she was angry, and you can't hold it against her. My throat is still a little sore, but hey, it's the first gift I've ever received from her. I will cherish this puncture of my throat till the day I die. Invites for the wedding will be sent out shortly! Gifts will be left at the doorstep, bride will be gagged and bound, hope to see you there!

So the other day Cerri woke Sirius up with a pleasant surprise... and I mean this when I say it, his hair was a beautiful shade of lavender. I can't even begin to express my jealousy in the fact that it was him and not me receiving such thoughtful treatment. Even though he got her back in questioning her gender, she got him back by punching him square in the face. Guess his luck with the ladies is starting to wear down, too. Poor fellow. Remus is still just as mediocre with the women - Peter just as lousy.

Quidditch try-outs have begun, and we have a few remarkable players. I use the word remarkable very carefully, because it sounds very positive, when further inspection it just means "I can make some sort of remark as to whatever is being discussed." This being said, Alice Logan is trying to show me up as Chaser. Though she's doing a bad job of hurting my pride, she's doing a good job of winning my approval. Cerri is doing a good job as Seeker, too. I'm a little curious if making my team an all girl team would be okay in the rulebook... wouldn't it be neat to be walking in from a big win for Gryffindor, the Common Room full of cheering, being tailed by six at least semi-attractive females? Hell, forget the looks, having six females trailing along behind me would make any man look fantastic (not that I really need it)!

Classes are same as always, except I fall asleep a lot less often. That is only because I feel like Lily is constantly waiting for me to do something wrong so she can tattle on me. I don't know who she's hoping to replace me with as Head Boy, but he had better be impressive, or I don't know what I'll do. If she raises her hand one more time in Potions to tell Professor Slughorn I'm "experimenting outside of the guidelines he's set for us," I swear I'll make her gargle every last drop of a personally brewed love potion...

Anyway, more updates on life at Hogwarts are soon-to-come. Hope all is well back at home... Sirius and I spend many nights reminiscing over the bonfires we had through the summer and all the stupid things we did around the house. I keep telling him to write a letter to you all, but you know how he is, busy making a mess of the school.

With Sarcasm and Love,

James Liam Potter

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